What to do if your Partner cheats?

The month of September has been branded ‘Cheat Month’, with reports suggesting rates of cheating rapidly increase at this time of year. The surge in elicit affairs is likely to occur due to couples returning from their summer holidays or are free from the juggle of childcare after a six-week school holiday and liable to stray.

What can you do if you find yourself in these circumstances?

First of all, you are not alone. Sadly, infidelity in relationships is all too common, with one in five British adults admitting to having had an affair. If you find out that your partner has had an affair, then you should consider your next steps very carefully. 

The first step is taking time to acknowledge your emotions and maybe consider seeking help to try and process the issues. Some couples may decide to look at marriage guidance or counselling to if the problems can be resolved.

In reality, if you believe that your partner is having an affair, there are three main options to consider: -

Stay with your partner and try and work through the issues

If you believe your relationship is worth saving and your partner agrees, then you may decide to try and get past what has happened. Marriage guidance or counselling can be a good option in these situations to try and help you save the relationship. 

Sometimes, couples in this situation, want to also take steps to protect their financial position should the issue happen again in the future, or should the marriage breakdown and. In this case, they may consider the making of a Post-Nuptial Agreement. A similar agreement can be made for cohabitees. This would be an agreement which sets out what happens to your finances if the relationship does break down and may give you a sense of financial security during the period where you are trying to work through the relationship problems.

Divorce your partner

Since the Spring of 2022 in the UK we now have the regime of ‘no fault’ divorce, aimed at trying to reduce the conflict between separating couples. This means that there is no need to apportion blame on the breakdown of the marriage, i.e. you don’t have to cite adultery or unreasonable behaviour.  The idea behind this change means that separating couples should rather focus on key practical decisions such as involving their children or finances and try and look to the future. 

This could be an option if you feel you the relationship can not move past the infidelity.

Have a separation

If you are not ready to get divorced or, indeed, if you are cohabitees and not married, you can look at effecting a separation and negotiating a Separation Agreement, setting out how your finances will be divided, giving you certainty and independence going forward.  It can even be used to set out the arrangements for the children.

The main thing is, if you find out that your partner has cheated, do not panic. Focus on your wellbeing; lean on your support system and take time to decide the future of your marriage.  Go for independent legal advice at the earliest opportunity, so you can find out your options should you decide to divorce/permanently separate.  Most lawyers will also be able to recommend you to a marriage guidance specialist or to counsellors who may be able to assist if you decide that you want to try and work through the relationship to try and save the same.

How can we help?

At Smith Partnership we have a large, dedicated team of Family specialists who would be able to advise you on all aspects of relationship breakdown, whether you are married or in a cohabitating relationship, including advising on children issues and financial matters, as well as Post-Nuptial and Pre-Nuptial Agreements

Contact our expert family team by telephone on 0330 123 1229, complete our contact form, or send us an email via info@smithpartnership.co.uk.